We're pregnant

The battle is over for me! We are pregnant! It is so great. So exciting. I look back at everything it seems like wow, we did all that. I have no idea how I made it through last week. It really tested my strength. I was a wreck! I didn't have any symptoms like some others did and I got really worried. But, then I started to see all the positive tests from the ladies who did IVF at the same time and that made me think that if they can do it, so can I. I swore I wouldn't take a home pregnancy test but by Thursday morning, Adam and I decided we wanted to take one. So, we did and it was positive. We couldn't believe it! We were so excited but we didn't want to tell anyone until they confirmed it w/ the blood test. I did take another one Thurs. afternoon and it was positive. So, I figured we are pregnant. The bloodtest on Friday confirmed it. I'm about 4 weeks. The baby is due around Aug. 28, Adam's bday. I'm pretty sure we only have one in the oven but the u/s on the 30th will tell us. I just thank everyone that I know and don't know who prayed for us. It worked!!!! We couldn't have done it w/o the support of everyone.

Emotions

Well, if anyone thought the emotional roller coaster was over they were wrong. This is going to be a very long week. I find out Friday if the IVF worked. And my mind is chaos. I was so positive that this was going to work but now I'm having doubts. I don't know why. I'm just not as sure as I have been. Some of the other people that had the IVF done at the same time are having symptoms and I'm not. So that really worries me. I'm trying to do the positive self talk but it's not sinking in. I don't know why it wouldn't work. I'm just letting my mind freak me out. I pray and pray this worked. If anyone has some great advice I would love some.

Egg Transfer

Well, we had the egg transfer done on Thursday. We had 2 eggs transfered back. We couldn't decided on 2 or 3 but finally Adam admited that he didn't want to risk triplets so we just did the 2. I'm ok w/ that because the doc said that the eggs couldn't get any better! So, that is great news. We had 4 to freeze for future use! If we end up having twins I don't know what we will do w/ the 4 frozen but we'll decide that later.
The day of the transfer was crazy. It is kind of like a wedding day. You wait and wait and prepare for this day and it comes and goes so fast. I had to go to the acupuncturist twice that day. Once before and once after the transfer. It relaxes the uterus so the eggs implant. A relaxed uterus is a good uterus. The acupuncturist said I need to stay peaceful. Try that w/ a 3 year old. Ha! Actually I've been doing pretty good w/ it. Mom was here Friday. She made us dinner Thursday and Friday. And she is bringing us some for tonight. Gotta love her!
So, by Monday I'll be back to my normal schedule and activities. I just can't lift more than 10lbs.
I keep talking to the eggs and telling them to stick babies stick! We'll find out soon. I'm considering myself pregnant now. The test will just confirm!

Egg update

My dr office called today and all 15 eggies are still growing. They sounded so excited for us. Saying we are in a really good place because we have SO many to choose from. She said they look really really good. We are still on for the transfer on Thursday.
I'm still feeling really sick. I think I'm a little better today but I have to rest a lot. I feel sick to my stomach all the time and really really bloated. Like it hurts. I know, once again,something is wrong w/ me. But, I talked to the nurse and when they called and she said it is normal. That I'm probably hyper-stimulating a little. A little? I feel like poop! All I want to do is get things done and I can't. So basically, because I produced so many eggs my ovaries are over worked. I think basically my ovaries are swollen now and I have some kind of fluid in my stomach. I just have to keep thinking no pain, no gain! I feel bad for Adam. He did everything this weekend so I could get better. He didn't get much of a break. I want to get better so I can take over. Unfortunately this weekend he'll have to do the same thing while I'm on bed rest! I want those eggies to stick.
If I still feel bad tomorrow I'm going to email our nurse because I want to make sure it won't affect the eggs from sticking. Today she said it wouldn't but I want to be absolutely sure! My goal was always to be the healthiest I can be for this and feeling crappy isn't part of the deal. We didn't work this hard to have it fail now!

Egg Retrieval

I had my ER done on Saturday morning. It went well. They got 19 eggs which is a great number. I had to get put under for the retrieval and I'm still not feeling good. I don't know what it is. I want to feel better by Thursday. That is the day they are putting the embryo's back. I want to be as healthy as can be! Sunday the doc office called and out of the 19 eggs, we had 17 mature and 15 of them fertilized. So right now we have 15 little embyro's growing. Isn't that amazing! The office will call me again tomorrow and let me know the further update. Not all of them will last till Thursday but I'm hoping most of them. We only need 2 or 3 but we have a lot to choose from.
That is our biggest decision we have to make. WE have to decide if we are going to put back 2 or 3. The nurse said our chances our great and she wouldn't do 3. The doctor said it is up to us. I have know idea how we are going to decide but we always make the right chose for us.

Egg Retrieval tomorrow

Tomorrow morning at 8:00 they will be taking out all of my eggies. The doctor thinks I have approx 20 eggs. That is a huge amount! I'm so excited to see if that is how many he actually gets. I'm feeling extremely bloated and full tonight. So, I'll be ready to get all the little eggs out. They should then call me sometime Sunday and tell me how many were mature and fertilized. I can't believe next week I'll have the little embryo's transferred back. I'm hoping he lets me put 3 back in. I'll talk to him tomorrow about it. My acupuncturist said one of her last patients who put 3 back in are now prego w/ triplets. Even though she said that, I'm not scared. Adam and I are perfectly ok w/ 1, 2, or 3 babies. Bring it on. We always said we wanted to create our own big family. That is exactly what is going to happen. Once we get the embryo's back in, I'm going to take it easy the rest of the month. I want those babies to stick.

Ultrasound

The day is here. I got up early this morning and got another blood test. Then I had my ultrasound appt today. I have lots of great follicles. The doctor said that he expects to get lots of eggs, like in the high teens! Woo hoo! I know it's not the quantity but the quality but at least we'll have lots to choose from. I still don't know when my retreival will be but the doc said probably Friday. I have another blood test tomorrow and then will know the last set of instructions by tomorrow afternoon.
I'm feeling very crampy and bloated. I can tell those follicles are growing large! I can't believe the time is actually here. This week we are creating our babies. I've been very emotional. It's hard for me to relax and get my mind off all of this. How can you want something so bad and pray for something so much and not be thinking about it all the time? Adam wants me to see the acupuncturist daily so I stay relaxed. I won't be going that much but I'll be going twice this week. Adam is being so caring. He thanked me last night for doing all this to my body. (I was doing a very painful shot at the time.) And when we went to Walmart yesterday he had me touch some baby clothes to give us good luck. He is trying to keep me relaxed and and not stressing over all this and he is constantly telling me how this is going to work. I don't think he realizes how much I need to hear all of that from him. I really need to hear how this is going to work. It helps keep me positive.
Oh and best of all, no shot tonight. I'm just coasting tonight. Yippee!

Grow follies Grow

I started my follicle growing meds yesterday. Me and Adam sat down w/ the computer and played the instructions on how to mix the meds and doing the injections. It's crazy this is our life right now. Adam is being so good about everything. The shot went good. It didn't hurt last night but tonight when we did it, it hurt really bad! I think my belly is just getting sore. I switch the spot but sometimes it just hurts!
I went to the acupuncturist again today. And I go tomorrow.But, it was really interesting today. She said she would really be working on my ovaries and she was right. She basically electrocuted me a little today. The needles that were in my belly were connected to an electric machine and it pulsated the needles. It was cool. She said it work my follicles and help make them grow. Man, I'm going to have the best follies the doc has ever seen! I lay there for 40 min so I have a lot of time think and pray. And I had nothing but positive things going on in my head. I love my life and I love everyone in it.
I can now say next week my little eggs that I'm working so hard to grow will be retrieved. My procedure should be towards the end of the week. I can't wait for Monday to have my ultrasound. That will tell me how many follicles I have and possible eggs. Once again, I'm so ready to be pregnant!

Blood Test

Everything is going along as planned. I just got a baseline blood test and if the levels were low I was good to go. And they were low. I think the test shows my egg reserve. But, not sure. All I know is that I'm on to the next step which starts Monday. That is when i start the egg growing injections. It's happening so fast. I love it.
I want this IVF to work now more than ever. Because recently our neighbor had a baby and Noah has been very curious about it. He knows she had a baby in her belly and now she doesn't and she holds it in her arms. Everyday he asks me if I have a baby in my belly and tell him not yet. He then say soon? And I say I hope so... He even puts stuffed animals in his belly! I want to be able to tell him there is a baby in my belly and you will see my belly grow! He will be such a great big brother.
Next big day is 12/1. I go in for the ultrasound. I can't wait to see how many follies I have. I know it's going to be a lot.

Need to stay positive

The shots are going good. I still only have one a day. Next week it goes to two a day. That will be interesting. I haven't been doing too much. I'm working on getting my back better. I went to the chiropractor today and it feels a little better. I just don't want it to mess w/ the IVF. She said it shouldn't but I want to be certain. So, I'm going to ask the acupuncturist tomorrow. Busy, Busy! I did have a little of a melt down Saturday night. Another one of our friends are suprisingly pregnant again. Of course they weren't trying. I want to be like that. I want it to be easy. I'm so happy for the couples who have no problems and never "try" but I'm also jealous. I need to really work on being positive but I don't feel as sure as I was before. So, I need to really work on the self talking. I constantly tell myself that 'My IVF is going to work. I will be pregnant next month'. I really really don't want to get negative because I know it won't work then. In a way, I don't think it is being negative but more or less scared. Things are starting to get closer and closer and the outcome will be here before I know it. I feel like the next few weeks I should read all encouraging stories of successful IVF's. Stay postive!

Ups and Downs

I just did my second day of my shot. It hurt more than yesterday but not bad at all. It's pretty quick and easy. At least that one. My goal through this whole process was to stay healthy and happy and positive. I'm hitting a few obstacles that I'm ready to be done with. At first I had a nasty cold. Luckily that didn't stick around because that wasn't part of the plan. Then on the first day of shots I woke up barely able to walk. My upside down disk decided to act up! I went to get my accupuncture done to day and she needled me up. She asked if I wanted her to pin my back and of course, if she could fix it I would let her do anything. I laid there w/ needles all in my back and the spots for the IVF. I felt so relaxed. I felt like I couldn't even lift my arms. After it was all over she told me that hopefully I would feel better tonight or tomorrow morning. And guess what? It's feeling better already. I'm praying that it will be all better. Because I just want to focus on the IVF stuff. I know life is full of ups and downs and I'm dealing with it all well. I'm proud that nothing is making me down. I feel like a new person lately. I just feel like I know who I am and I can do anything. My business is booming and I have great friends who support me and greatest of all, I'm going to be pregnant next month! But, i have to say one more thing, I don't want to be known as the woman who has tons of things wrong w/ her. I'm not like that. I'm just going through a bad patch. But, it's all done now!

First Shot!

I did my first shot today. Piece of cake. The only difficulty was having Noah at the bathroom door knocking and looking under the door. It was a little distracting. I'm so excited that the medicine has started. Time is going to fly by. I'm going to keep busy w/ the holidays and make sure I'm not stressed. I really have to work on that. Especially w/ Noah. He gets a little trying sometimes so I want to stay calm w/ him. I'm going to weigh myself today so I can see how bloated I get w/ all the meds. But, I'm not going to get upset about gaining because it is for a great reason.

Medicine is here and ready

My medicine arrived last week and I'm excited, nervous and anxious! It wasn't as much as I thought but a lot of needles! I took a picture of it all and I'll upload it tomorrow. I've been reading on the fertility institutes blog that most of the women who are having IVF there are getting pregnant. I'm so ready to be pregnant again. By this time next month I should know for sure. I know it's going to work. Adam started taking over some of the household chores because I'm very fragile during this time. Supposedly...
Woo hoo. It's starting to go by fast. My first shot is Wednesday and I'm going over and over my instructions so I don't mess things up. A lot of medicine is going to be pumped into my body this month. it is going to be interesting to see how I am affected by it all. Unfortunately, I have a cold AGAIN. I just got over one. I'm so mad. i want to be healthy when I start this medicine. I take vitamins everyday and exercise. Why do I keep getting sick. This is it. No more. I'm going to be healthy the rest of the month so my eggies can grow.

Tired and don't know why

I haven't updated the blog lately but nothing much is going on. I'm anxiously awaiting my medicine. it's supposed to be here tomorrow. I'm excited and nervous all at once. But, I know I can handle it.
For some reason I'm really tired lately. I can barely make it up until 9:00. I'm not sure if it is the BCP (birth control pills) or if it is the fact that I'm keeping extremely busy these days. I don't really sit down much during the day up until Noah goes to bed. And lately we have been outside for hours each day. So, who knows. Adam says when I get prego that I'll be going to bed before Noah. Probably!
I have to say I have the greatest husband. He is giving up some of his caffeine this month. And not drinking cocktails this month. He said it's the least he could do since I'll be getting the needles everyday! I have no doubt that we will be pregnant NEXT MONTH! I'm so ready.
I held my neighbors newborn yesterday and was so filled w/ happiness. She is so precious! I can't wait for another baby...

Learning experience

I went to my 2nd accupuncture appt yesterday. And I still love it. She confirmed that I should give up caffeine next month, well and of course when I'm prego. I'm going to start going twice a week after I start the medicine, which is about a week and a half. My medicine gets delivered on the 6th. It's getting so close. I got my final balance for the IVF and then I'll be paying for the meds so the only thing left is the actual procedure. Yippee!
I've determined this part of my life is definitely a great learning experience. I'm learning how I should pay attention to others feelings when I say things because some of the things people say to me surprise me. I told one person yesterday about me and Adam doing IVF and this person was like, yeah we tried that and it didn't work. That's it. Nothing added,like I know it will work for you or good luck. Nothing! Why did this person think I wanted to hear that?! So, now I just now things I should say and things I shouldn't.

This past weekend

This past weekend we went to our friends Halloween party. It was a great time. I love hanging out w/ my friends. As I always do I when I go out, I went w/ every intention of not talking about my IVF. I just really think that some people don't want to hear any more about it and get annoyed. But, that didn't happen. I seem to either bring up things about it or some how make a connection between a conversation going on and a part of IVF. I don't know why I just can't not bring it up. I know I'm a person that wears her heart on my sleeve and everyone knows my emotions but I just don't want to bother people that dont' want to hear about. Yeah, it's a huge deal for me and we are super excited to be getting the chance to do this but not everyone cares. I just don't want to be the girl that people dont want to be around because all they hear is about me. I'm going to really work on it this. Of course, inside I'm going to be bubbling over w/ excitement that we're finally going to have another baby!

Opinion

Apparently I am overly consumed w/ IVF per my husband and probably other people. I'm fuming about this and extremely hurt. This is a very sensitive subject for me. I'm sorry if me doing the research I'm doing to make sure I do everything possible to make this work is making me seem overly consumed. You know, this procedure is mostly all about my body. I need to have it as healthy as I can to make this work. It's my body that is going to endure all the hormone shots and it is my body who could fail us. Which I won't let it! But, it's still a lot of pressure so I want to make sure I read about everything on my end that I can do to make this IVF procedure positive. Anyway, I just had to vent.

One more thing

So, I was actually thinking about something other than IVF the other night. I'm never going to be an aunt. When Jason has kids I'll kind of be one but we never see him so that won't be the same. It's just a bummer that I won't hear Aunt Jessie. I would make a great aunt. I was thinking that for the friends that are going to have more kids, they might run out family to be god parents, and I could be a runner up! That's just like being an aunt. Just a thought!

Accupuncture appointment

I had my first of many accupuncture appointment today. I did do this in the past a few times but I'm going to a new lady. She actually works w/ my doctor and the clinic. Accupuncture just amazes me! She is really a great lady. She did a little background review w/ me and then she checked my pulse and looked at my tongue! I would explain exactly why she did those things but I can't. There were lots of big words used. Ha! All I know is that it is a Chinese method (clicking method) and they are first working on getting me all centered and flowing right. It's great! When I was laying there, I so relaxed! I'm probably going to be going once a week and then twice a week. She said it is most important to go when my follies are growing w/ the medicine, when my embryo transfer is done and especially during the gruesome 2ww (2 week wait)! I am actually going twice on the day of my transfer. Before and after. they want to make sure you are nice and relaxed for those little eggies to nestle in. I know I'm definitley going during the 2ww. That is when all the anxiety occurs. She basically agreed w/ me on everything I'm doing to get myself ready for this. I need to be in a good place. Don't let things bother me and stay healthy and take care of myself. She LOVED that I'm taking Fish Oil. It's so good for everything! I recommend everyone to take it. Going to this appt just got me more excited for this. Even though I sometimes stop and think that this can't be me going through all this, I know I can do this and I know we are going to have another baby.
I just read something in Joel Osteen's new book. God doesn't give you a dream in your heart that you can't have. Not that it will always come easy; You might have to fight for it. That is definitely what we are doing. I'm thinking this baby should be named something like Miracle or Worth the wait! Ha!

No more negative

I'm hooked to this one message board that if for infertility. Everyone is very supportive and nice and are going through the same thing I am. It's nice to have people to talk to that have all the same thoughts you do. I know my friends and family are very supportive but unless you have been through infertility you really don't understand.
Anyway, I'm going to try and stop going to the message board until after my IVF. There were two people that I was following on the board very closely. They just went through the IVF transfer and so far one of them is pregnant while the other one isn't. I know it's a fact of life that IVF works sometimes and doesn't works sometimes. I just swore they were both going to be prego. I prayed and prayed for them. They both had fantastic egg count and great fertilization. The one who is so far BFN (big fat negative), had nothing wrong w/ the IVF cycle. She is so hurt and I totally understand. But, on the other hand reading about her made me realize that I can't continue to read the boards. I'm not naive to where I believe there is no negative things that can happen I just don't want to have those negative thoughts in my head. Right now if I hear stories, I want them to be positive. Because I'm thinking very positive but that doesn't stop those negative stories from creeping in to my brain every once in awhile. So, I"m going to continue to pray that she gets her dream of being a mom but not read about it anymore. (At least until I get my BFP.)
I start my first shot of Lupron on Nov. 12th. Woo Hoo! I never thought I'd be so happy to get a shot! Have I told anyone that I'm going to be pregnant in December. Ha!

Friends

I just have to say that I have great friends. I have lots of friends who help me each in their own way. Most of them don't even know their helping me. I wouldn't know where I'd be without my friends. I have a great family too but most of them are far away so my friends here are my family. They have let me be moody, emotional, selfish, etc and they still talk to me! Go figure. I just hope I am or can be as great to them as they are to me.
Since I start my IVF process next month, this month I'm releasing all my negative thoughts and feelings that I have. I'm working on becoming less stressed because stress is not good for anything. I just want next month to flow nice and easy and December too.
I'm thankful for the great people I have in my life.

Calendar

I have my calendar. Woo hoo! I'm on my way to another baby. I start all of my medicine and injections on 11/16. Then the egg retrieval will be approx. the beginning of Dec. and the embryo transfer around Dec. 8th. I can't wait. In less than a month I will be in the IVF process. I'm going to be doing accupuncture around that time. A lady they recommended knows the clinic and apparantly is really good at the fertility accupuncture. I'm so positive this is going to work. I told our nurse today that I want 3 embyros transferred back. She said w/ my age (which is a good thing) that he would probably want to put only 2 back. I don't care, if I put 3 back there is a better chance that at least one will stick. She said what if all 3 do. Well, then our family got a lot bigger really quick!
I still can't believe I'm going through IVF. I know no one ever looks in their future and sees IVF but, sometimes I feel like 'Wow, we are creating our baby!'
Another person I know just told me she was pregnant. I think half the people I know are prego. What's the deal? You know, when I find out I'm really happy for them and of course want the best for them. I don't feel like I'm upset but I realize I get a little crabby after that about stupid things. I want to be in the pregnant world! I want it to be me too. I think everyone I know that is prego should put their magic my way...

Being a mom

Not much is going on with my IVF stuff. Which is killing me. I want to be doing something. I try and try to eat better because they say that helps but I like food too much. Of course not the good kind of food. So, I'll keep trying. And I want to cut out caffeine but that one soda a day helps me.
So, I have time to do nothing but research IVF. And sometimes that too much research isn't good. I have to remember to read only the good and not the negative.
The other day Noah and I went to the park. I told him if he was good when some people were here that he could go play on the playground. I gotta tell you this ended up being one of the most memorable days. When we got to the park, the playground was closed so we walked on the trail. It was so great. We walked along the gravel trail and talked and picked leaves and held hands. It just reminded me why I love being a mom and staying home to share in those special moments. I can't wait to have more kids to join in the special moments. The more the merrier!

GREAT doctor appt today

We went to the doctor today and it was great. I had an ultrasound to see if I had any cysts or any kind of problems on my girl stuff. Ha! They checked my cervix uterus and most importantly they checked how many follies they might have to work w/. Well, I had 15 to 20 on each ovary. He said that was above normal. Yippee! That is without all the drugs. I'm beyond excited now. Everytime I go to the doctor and hear that everything is looking good, I get more and more convinced that we will be pregnant by December.
I've been so worried about why this is happening but now I'm just telling myself that I had a problem and now I have the solution...
I just wonder what is next now? I have most of the tests done now. Next, I think they will plan what protocol I will be on and when. Then I think we will meet w/ them to go over everything. Then I'll just be waiting.
I'm starting to work again to make time go by quick. It's working...

Husbands do care

Sometimes I'll think that Adam doesn't really care anymore if we have another baby. Probably just because he isn't consumed by it like I am. But, then he'll do something or say something that tells me he really does care. Not only does he care but he is positive about the IVF working.
He was sitting on the couch last night playing w/ Noah and was rocking him like a baby. He said that he couldn't wait to have another baby in the house and could rock him like he was doing to Noah. Then he started talking about Noah being a big brother and him holding the baby. It was a sweet moment.
Every once in awhile I feel like this is all my fault. That my body is failing me for some reason. And I was the one who worked out since I was 13 and try to excercise everyday. Not thinking I would ever have anything wrong w/me to not conceive another baby. And Adam just has to deal w/ it. He has never said that but when I'm down in dumps that is what sometimes come to mind.
I'm following a few ladies that are going through the IVF egg retrieval right now. It's making me so excited. In just 5 days these ladies will be considered pregnant. They are making me very optimistic about the IVF.
I know this is going to work! Tomorrow is my 1st ultrasound to check out my follicles and some other things. I'll let you know how this goes.

Bloodwork Good!

I'm just a little bruised after the blood they took, but I'm also really excited. My bloodwork came back really good. So, after Tuesday's ultrasound I'll have a calendar and know what kind of injections I'll be doing and all that good stuff.
I've been feeling really good about everything. I'm trying to keep busy and everyday and night I tell myself that this is going to work and we'll be pregnant in December. That little thought of how would I react if it doesn't work creeps in every once in awhile but I'm refusing to think more about that. I'm really trying to get on the spirtual side of things (which is big for me).I'm reading a book right now and it had a quote in there that I liked. I can find the exact quote in the book but it was saying basically that God hears your wishes and prayers but sometimes hold off and gives it to you at the right time. I'm really hoping that all of our negative pregnancy tests were for a reason. I've always wanted a big family so maybe I was supposed to be doing IVF for a better chance of multiple babies!
I realized that I never stop thinking about having another baby. I wonder if this is why I'm so tired? And you know when you get that new car and you see it every where on the road, well I see pregnant people everywhere! I think in 1 day I saw about 10. At one point 2 girls were walking into the store I was coming out of and they were both mama jamma prego. First of all good for them, second make me like that. Ha! I think the way I think about pregnancy is forever changed. It's is so precious and it doesn't always come as easily as we thought it would. I'm going to win this battle, that is for sure!

IVF in December!!!

We are all set to go for our IVF in December. WE are so excited and ready and little scared! Now that we have decided to do it I'm not looking back. I just know this is going to work. I'm going to make sure I keep working out and keep limiting my caffeine and I think next month I'm going back for more accupuncture. I want to do everything possible on my end to make this work. Of course every once in awhile the thought of the money that is going in for this and there is no guarantee comes across my mind. But, I'm blocking it out w/ good, positive thoughts.

I got a call from our doctor's office and I had to go in for some blood tests today to determine the protocol I'll be on and the calendar of events. Man, when they said blood tests, they mean it. I had to fill six or so viles of blood. Crazy! And then next Tuesday I'll be going in for some ultrasounds to look at my lovely follicles!

I'm just ready for December. I hate to wish my months away but I'm ready to be pregnant. Have you ever wanted something so bad you have ached for it? That is me right now. I feel like my body aches to be pregnant. I know that is extreme. But, the want is that bad! There are so many pregnant people around me and I just want to be them. So, if I stare at a belly it's because it's beautiful to me. I want to be going through all of it. Man, when I get big and fat (because I'm pregnant) I'm going to be loving life!

Oh and one more thing. Adam and I thought that since we weren't doing IVF till Dec. that we could try to conceive on our own one more month. But the chance of that is gone. They are putting me on BCP (birth control pills) now until Nov. 15th. They have to control my cycle. In a way I'm excited because I'm now in the process...

Background

I thought it would be good to give a little background about me. I just turned 31. I have been married to Adam for 4 years and we have a beautiful son, Noah. He just turned 3. Adam and I started trying to have our 2nd child back in March 2007. After 10 months of trying I went to my OB to get some help. He started me on Clomid. I was on that for 3 months and nothing happened. I then had bloodtests and an ultrasound. Through the ultrasound, they thought I had PCOS. But, later I found that wasn't true. I had an HSG, where they flushed out my tubes. That was normal. Finally I opted for a laparoscopy to determine if I have endometriosis. I did and it was a mild to moderate case. The doc lasered it off and sent me to a fertility clinic to get more help. There we began to do IUI's w/clomid. We did 3 of those. After the 3rd one didn't work we have now decided to do IVF. Something we thought we would never do. But the want for a baby is making us do whatever we have to do.

Some say, you have a wonderful child you should be happy. That is true. I'm very happy that I have Noah but the want for a bigger family doesn't go away. They say secondary infertility can be harder than those who have 1st time infertility. I dont' know what is harder, I just know it is an emotional roller coaster that I'm trying to survive everyday. ..

Today's first post

I've started this blog today hoping not only to help myself get through this emotional time but to hopefully help others that are going through infertility. Through this blog I will share all of my feelings being open and honest about everything.